Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon is one of the more benign trivial pursuits resulting from America's fixation with celebrities. Parodying the play "Six Degrees of Separation," the game gives players up to six steps to connect the actor to any other actor via movies they have appeared in.
A more ominous pastime is the knack for stars to abuse their fame by promoting ill-conceived "causes." And when it comes to the Second Amendment, connecting gun-grabbers in only one step is, fittingly, a no-brainer.
For instance, the ubiquitous Mr. Bacon, with other cinematic luminaries, signed Handgun Control's USA Today "Open Letter to the NRA."
"We are not 'gun haters'," they protested, and then demanded limiting handgun purchases to one a month, banning "assault weapons," magazine capacity limits, gun locks and "a 'cooling off' period. . .[that] might just save the life of a child. . ."
That such measures might cost lives seems not to enter the equation, but when has that mattered? Besides, these people are more enlightened than the rest of us.
So what must we do to connect Bacon to other famous anti-gunners via his namesake parlor game? Unfortunately, we run into another disarmament associate wherever we look. Take his sci-fi hit, "Tremors," where co-star/gun control advocate Michael Gross plays a "gun nut" with a collection of firearms dwarfed only by the one Steven Spielberg (whose wife, Kate Capshaw, signed the HCI letter) reportedly owns.
And don't forget that Gross starred on "Family Ties" opposite Center to Prevent Handgun Violence board member Meredith Baxter, who in turn starred opposite. . . Aw, forget it, this game is too easy.
"Shoot [Charlton Heston] with a .44 Bulldog."
Spike Lee is joined in the HCI epistle by fellow African-Americans Chaka Khan, Vanessa Williams, The Temptations, and foul-mouthed, violence-glorifying rapper Mase. All are seemingly unaware that some of this country's first weapon-control laws were introduced in the Slave Codes, and that post-Civil War Black Codes were designed to disarm the newly emancipated.
Instead, Lee bizarrely declares that the U.S. is "the most violent country in the history of civilization," never explaining why the four million-member NRA is the most peaceable population on the planet. Still, don't hold your breath waiting for him to "Do the Right Thing" and apologize.
"People just sit behind their [expletive] weapon and they can kill somebody and it's just so cowardly."
Petition signer Barrymore could no doubt lecture us all on courage; after all, she foreswore guns for karate in her remake of "Charlie's Angels." And she looked way cool, almost like she would know what to do in a real mortal combat situation.
Most of the other "Open Letter" signatories are equally vapid. But then, who would expect Susan Sarandon or Geraldo to embrace anything other than leftist foolishness, or Barbra Streisand's sympathy toward arming "the help"? And why wouldn't those over-achieving Zappas--Ahmet, Diva, Dweezel, Gail and Moon--jump at the chance to get their names in print? It's not like anybody actually knows what the hell it is they do or why they're famous.
"Until America, door to door, takes every handgun, this is what you're gonna have."
That the star of "Rambo," who made his fortune exploiting armed violence, should call on government raids to disarm millions of real veterans and the rest of his countrymen, goes beyond hypocritical. It is contemptible.
Or take Madonna, please. The "Immaterial Girl" had the gall to sign the HCI letter after her private security force shot an intruder on her estate grounds. And don't forget Madonna gal pal Rosie O'Donnell, who thinks you should be arrested for owning a gun, while hiring her own armed bodyguard.
And how about Jack Nicholson, who added his name to the list? To borrow a line from "A Few Good Men," hey, Jack, do you want the truth? You can't handle the truth. Because the truth is, an out-of-control berserker bashing in someone's windshield with a golf club over a traffic dispute deserves to be repelled. With a gun, if necessary.
"Gun controls should be stiffer."
There is a sense of let-down with some of the stars. Schwarzenegger, who claims Republican leanings (despite supporting in-law gun-grabber Ted Kennedy's campaigns) is described by the press as "moderate on guns," meaning your rights have been terminated.
Another guy who captures the hearts (and pocketbooks) of gun-owning moviegoers is "The Patriot" Mel Gibson, whose "Lethal Weapon IV" referred to a psychopath as a "spokesman for the NRA." While he reveals that he has taken his children to shooting ranges and believes in self-defense, he admits "I don't even know whether I've made up my mind on [the Second Amendment]."
"I don't think there is anything particularly wrong about hitting a woman."
"It is said that a total ban on handguns, including .22s, would take away innocent pleasure from thousands of people. Is that more or less pleasure than watching your child grow up?" asked Connery in a BBC ad.
That's understandable; if you really believe that a Bond girl should be shaken, not stirred, you don't want her to get her hands on a Walther PPK. And the newest Bond, Pierce Brosnan, recently offered his services to the United Nations, which dovetails nicely with "UN Messenger of Peace" Michael Douglas, who is at the vanguard of promoting global disarmament.
If they get their wish, they'll get a world government immune to challenge by those who believe their rights are inalienable. They'll get a world where liberties are determined by gun control paradises like Cuba, the Sudan, China, Libya, Syria, Uganda and Vietnam--all current members of the Orwellian UN human rights panel.
They'll get an International Criminal Court, and Rosie will realize her wish to imprison gun owners when they are deemed in violation of international law. And all the useful Hollywood idiots will finally get the one thing they publicly decry the most: government control and censorship. On a global level.
It's already started. The UN recently canceled sponsorship of an "Art Without Borders" exhibit because participation of a Tibetan artist recommended by the Dalai Lama offended Beijing. But it's not like we can expect the Hollywood squares to comprehend the connection between the Second Amendment and the First, or the destruction they are enabling in their ignorance and conceit.
Until it's too late.
"If someone has a gun and is trying to kill you, it would be reasonable to shoot back with your own gun."